For younger me. And for Paul.By Shubhi, on behalf of PoCCo

Sometimes, when white people say “Indian men are rapists,” I, an Indian girl, don’t know how to disagree with them. Truth 1: this is racist and untrue. Truth 2: I have been the subject of Indian sexism for many years. I didn’t know how to hold both truths in my head until I heard the term sexual nationalism during a guest lecture from Paul Mepschen.

Sexual nationalism is used to describe ways in which ideas around gender and sexuality contribute to constructing a nation. In this context, I use sexual nationalism (aka pinkwashing) to describe the phenomenon of communities representing themselves as havens for queer rights and feminism as a way to differentiate themselves and, by extension, to exclude those seen as Other. Paul wrote extensively on homotolerance as a guise for Islamophobia in the Netherlands. He argued that the discourse of Europe and America as the seat of sexual liberation is used to construct the Muslim ‘Other’ as dangerous.

Morality is equated with progressive politics, which are, in turn, associated with whiteness. The countries preaching homotolerance in this context are themselves not always feminist or accepting – they create these narratives through omitting and highlighting different facts. For instance, when a white person commits a crime, it is despite their race, but when a racialized person does, it is because of their race. This is part of a larger double standard, where the “flaws” of one country are seen as inherent, while the same flaws for another country are seen as a deviation from their spotless record: sexual assault in the Netherlands is an unfortunate fact, but sexism is intrinsic to Islam, and child marriage is a given in South Asia.

Associating sexism with certain ethnicities is sometimes used as an excuse. A friend once said (with regards to a shitty guy we knew), “...maybe we should give him grace, he probably did it because of his cultural upbringing and environment”; she meant to be culturally sensitive, but to me, it seemed infantilizing, as if we can’t trust brown men to make their own good choices. I’m not exempt from the double standard– I have often complained that South Asian men are raised to view women as inferior. I don’t know if that makes me complicit in cultural essentialism or just someone with a lifetime of (systemic) misogynistic experiences with South Asian men, who sees the role that environment plays in internalizing the patriarchy. What do we expect from men who constantly see their mothers in a “serving” role? From people who hear “what was she wearing” after every assault case? Whose government officials argue that sex is a husband’s right? If everyday existence trains you to see women as lesser than, how can you avoid ending up with a generation of misogynists?

I wish I had answers or a coherent conclusion.

All I have is rage.